His Love Never Fails

On February 14th (and leading up to it), we are flooded with messages containing the words "love," "affection," "care," "adoration," etc. And while I think most of us are wise enough these day to identify the marketing ploy at play, it can still be a rough day for many.

 

I'm not just talking about singles, either. I think about all the guys and gals who are in committed relationships, who in the throes of expectations and misguided needs end up feeling let down and damaged in the wake of the "day of love."

 

A wise counselor (who also happens to be my mother-in-love) has reminded me several times that love is not an emotion or a feeling. It is a choice. It's an act of obedience. Doesn't sound very sexy, does it? Put that on a Hallmark card, right? Haha.

 

But it is correct. Subject to our moods and circumstances, love could never last if we had the option to check out and cash in our chips when things got ugly. (And y'all, they always get ugly. Life...ain't pretty.) Love is a commitment, it is a choice and a discipline, one which will yield great fruit when poured out from a heart that is whole and complete in Christ. Not self-sufficient, not armed with every self-help book under the sun, not subject to the ebbs and flows of another's response to their love. We only need one book to guide the way, one example to follow.

 

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You and I are ugly. We're a hot mess. We strive, we struggle, we sin, and we fail. But Christ loves you. And Christ loves me. Loves us so much, I can't even tell you. Loves us in spite of how we behave, loves us regardless of our performance, loves us so completely that He sacrificed the only perfect man who ever graced the Earth's surface. He did so out of love. Because He hates sin, because He hated to see us perish and toil, and because He is the loving Father who stood in the gap--and conquered it once and for all--for you. And for me.

 

There is so much to celebrate, indeed. The great news? It's not limited to a day. You don't need a red envelope or pink roses to participate. You don't have to be cleaned up and have it all together. And no one can ever, ever take it away. It's a promise you can stand on for the rest of your days, that you can renew yourself in daily--moment by moment, even--and you will be filled with love and joy that cannot be shaken, and is not fleeting.

 

If you haven't already, I encourage you to make this the day that you bow your head and seek Love: Love personified, Love that will never leave nor forsake you, Love that will bestow hope and faith, Love that will reveal true joy. Call out to Him by name: Christ. He is Love that will change everything. Everything.

 

Much love, friends-

{N}

Bride Schmide...We have a home!

Part of me had this grand idea of what my engagement would be like. (OK, that's an understatement. Turns out I had expectations out the yin-yang, but those are stories for another post; stories that are only funny in hindsight given the sheer lunacy. Again, for another day...) Coming from a background in aesthetics and being in front of the camera, I imagined my usual beauty routine would be taken to another stratum in preparation for my walk down the aisle. And while I still intend to indulge in some beautification closer to our wedding, I have to laugh at the current state of things. I have bright red scratch marks covering my hands and knees (thank you, Scrappy VonBadKitty), there is dried paint in my hair and nail beds, and my feet are straight up koala bear status from standing for hours in flip flops.

I may not be glowing, keeping a sensible diet, or pruning myself for our epic soiree, but I can't help but smile often knowing that M and I are cultivating our home. It's a tremendous gift to own a piece of land and know that for the foreseeable future we will have a roof over our head. (A newly foil-lined roof, mind you.) I'm stressed like whoa trying to balance everything; make no mistake about that. But when we've got Ella Fitzgerald crooning through the speakers and are laughing together in our work grubbies, climbing off our ladders to clean up each other's paint drips and steal a kiss, it's hard not to feel like I'm living someone else's life. It's surreal in the most amazing way, and yet it's our reality.

We have a home.

Lessons Learned: Wedding Planning

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~ By and large, everything to do with a wedding costs at least $300. There are exceptions, of course, but spending much less will likely require hot glue, eleventy-thousand visits to the craft store, and less-than-bridal fingernails.

~ Choosing bridesmaids dresses from a department store is a bad idea unless you have everyone's sizes and order them the second you see that they're available. Dept. stores just don't keep stock like traditional bridal retailers, so you may end up in a pickle.

~ TheKnot.com is just a bad idea. It's insta-stress and will make you feel like you're about three years behind on planning the second you log on. Pretty photos, yes. But, whoa, holy task-apalooza!

~ Having an RSVP option available on your website before sending invites is not the best idea ever. Create some confusion, it may.

~ Registering is way fun-slash-dangerous. Taking a deep breath and reviewing one's registry after coming off the complimentary cappuccino high is probably a good idea. (Everyone says that now is the time to request all the fancy crap you've always wanted; meanwhile, it's hard not to feel a little cray for zapping a gravy boat that costs $130.) (But seriously, it's gorgeous.)

~ Burlap is a special kind of stinky. But oh, the texture.

~ 3 months in normal time = plenty. 3 months in wedding time = OMG, you don't have a photographer yet???!!??  Aaaaand, cue nail biting. (Again, not so bridal.)

~ Our friends and family are amazing. (This isn't new to me, but seeing how everyone has stepped up and gone so far above and beyond to  make this time more precious for us has been...just...no words. No tears in the office. Talk amongst yourselves...)

To be continued...

This Little Girl is Going to be a Wife!

On May 13, 2012, my darling M asked me to share life with him as his wife. The Lord cultivated the most perfect moment and blessed our relationship in the midst of a prayer. I wanted to shout this wonderful news from the rooftops (and the e-rooftops, so to speak), but it was important for us to honor those closest to us by telling them personally. It's been so nice to savor this season in our relationship, and our vacation this past week was the perfect way to celebrate our engagement.

The ring.
{Redcrest, CA}

Now that we're back in DFW, we will begin planning our wedding. Not many details to share just yet except that we're thinking late winter/early spring. I hope we can enjoy this process and not get overwhelmed. We want to plan this special occasion together and ensure that we focus on the elements that really matter to us, so any advice that y'all have to offer on this front is greatly appreciated.

I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. Y'all, there is a lot of happy dancing going on up in here!

Missin' You

Yesterday marked two years since my dear mama's passing. In some ways, it feels like just yesterday that we were dancing in the living room to Beyonce (when we were supposed to be cleaning house), yet it also seems like a lifetime ago that I saw her sweet face and felt her embrace. (It's tough to beat a good hug from your mama.)

However, the Lord has shown me such grace and mercy over the last few years. Well, he's showered me with grace and mercy my whole life, but I was too stubborn and prideful to rest in it. (Breaks my heart to think of the time I missed with Him.)

My family and friends are amazing, y'all, and they have loved on my brother and I--and each other--so thoughtfully. I received many texts and emails yesterday, sharing thoughts and prayers and well-wishes. A very sweet friend sent a lovely bouquet, while another sent a precious card that brought a smile to my face. I got word that two of the chickens stowed away under Pops's truck to join him in visiting the gravesite. (True story.) My sweet man surprised me with a massage, dinner, a beautiful yellow rose, and a request to share Mom stories/memories throughout the evening.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about her or recall a funny, silly little moment shared together that makes me giggle and tear up at the same time. She left such an incredible impression on all who knew her, sassy and sweet to the end. Such a blessing to have witnessed the portion of her life that I did.

I can't wait to see her again. To catch up and see her smile, angelic even before she was called home. There's so much to look forward to, and I'm thankful beyond measure for the earthly family that God has blessed me with to take this journey. 

A Sunday Kind of Love

{Mushy post! You've been warned...}

M and I attended a cooking class last night at one of our favorite local eateries, Spiral Diner. They were sharing their awesome vegan breakfast recipes that make meat-eaters and veggies alike say, "Hummina." (Their tofu scramble is like a party in your mouth.) We had so much fun, taking notes together and imagining yummy mix-ins and occassions for trying our new recipes. The rain was falling outside, our bellies were full, and my heart was in full-blown pitter-patter mode.

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This was one of many moments that make me cherish what I have with my mister. It's a special relationship, indeed, when you can be completely yourself and have an absolute blast no matter what you're doing. Some share this kind of bond with girlfriends, siblings, cousins, pets. These relationships are incredible blessings, being surrounded by so much love and such extraordinary people. To look my handsome man in the eye and know that he is my best friend...let's just say I think I owe God some cupcakes.

{Inspired Thursday} Guest Blogger: Debby at Inspired Design

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Hi, Everyone! It's Debby from Inspired Design and I'm thrilled to be visiting the adorable Natalie today. She has such a way with words, don't you think?

Lately I've been wondering if my heart is ever going to be whole again. For those of you that read my blog, you already know of my pending divorce. I'm good, truly. However, the years leading up the divorce caused my heart to slowly break apart one piece at a time. You know the movie, The Notebook, where Noah tells Martha Shaw, "Now, you know that I want give you all the things that you want, right? But I can't because they're gone.... They're broken." I totally relate. I'm Noah.

What I've decided is, that it's o.k. that my heart isn't whole. It doesn't have to be. Perhaps in time it will be. For now I will tend to it. I will look after myself and try to put the pieces back together. I've already taken the first step when I made the bold choice to walk away from a relationship that neither one of us was happy in. My heart is in my care now, and it's a good feeling because I know no one will look after it better than myself.

Do you believe that some people are wounded so deep that they never completely trust their heart to any one's care ever again?

Deb, thank you so much for sharing so candidly what is on your heart and how you've been inspired to pursue your new normal on your own (with your kiddos, of course). I have seen with my own eyes God's ability to heal and renew the hearts of those so broken and seemingly abandoned by love. It's not an easy road, but you've taken the steps, you have faith, and I believe that your heart has not seen its last love, whatever form that may take in your journey. 

What do you think, readers? Any advice or words of encouragement you can offer from your own journeys?

{Heart} You

Photo by me. Cappuccino by M.

Happy Valentine's Day, dear readers! Whatever you're up to today, whoever (or whatever) you have to love on, I wish you a lovely day. If you're feeling down or have certain expectations for today, know that you're loved very much. There's so much love to celebrate, and a sweet day is in the details: swoony music, candles, a cup/glass o' your fave beverage, and quieting your heart to embrace the moment.

As for me? I am very thankful that my honey is on the mend and looking forward to dinner tonight. We're going to a sweet little bistro in the Fairmount District. And y'all, I'm wearing red and pink. (Well, more like a dark fuchsia.) Can you tell I'm excited about my Valentine?

Lots of love! xo

{Day}dreaming of Paris...



Images via Pinterest

I suppose the nearness of Valentine's Day is to blame, but I am a big ball o' romance today. I daydream of strolling through the streets of Paris, M's arm around my waist, and spending hours seated at a street-side table, sipping coffee and sharing what's on our hearts. A cool breeze dances through the trees as I pull him close and wrap us up in my pashmina. We guess the topic of conversation of those who pass us by on the street and imagine the names and voices of their stylish pups. We cave and order creme brulee as dusk falls, candlelight slowly casting a warm glow on patrons cuddled up at nearby tables.

Le sigh.

{Inspired Thursday} Blog Aids

I cannot say enough about the incredible community of bloggers out there. It's so wonderful to know that there are dozens of folks who are willing to rally around and encourage me, for no other reason than they read my words and choose to care. And vice versa! I'm sure to some it seems strange when I refer to my bloggy buddies as "friends" considering I've yet to meet most of y'all in person (though I'm still trying to figure out the whole teleportation thing so we can have that garden party). But any other title just wouldn't do justice. (My next giveaway: friendship bracelets. Just kidding. Kinda.)

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But today I've got to give a little love to the friends, family and/or significant others who support us bloggers "in real life." My heart just swells with happiness when I hear that a near and dear friend or family member reads my posts, or when M mentions something I've written. I so enjoy seeing the same sort of support on others' blogs, reading comments from loved ones who know the blogger in a different way and champion their words and perspectives.

My favorite? The husbands and boyfriends who take photos for their gal's blog, or help with design or some other aspect of the site. I am sure they are wondering what in tarnation their crazy ladies are up to when they're twirling about in a perfectly coordinating outfit in front of the house, or staging vignettes of cooking utensils and whole foods for recipe posts. But they humor us and contribute to something about which we are all clearly passionate, without full understanding or explanation. It's beautiful, really.

Whether blogging for us is a lifetime commitment to creating content or primarily a means of efficiently recording our day-to-day, it takes a lot to share one's thoughts and words with the interwebs. Regardless of goal or intent, it's a fortunate thing, indeed, to be blessed with friends who are in your corner and encourage your endeavors...IRL or otherwise.

Lookbook: Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is just a week away, and though I imagine M and I will stay in or do something low key (that's how we roll...plus, crowds make me stabby), I still ponder the perfect outfit for a Valentine's date. While most nights in generally consist of me curling up under a blanket in PJ pants, a giant sweatshirt and my hair in a ragamuffin bun (poor M...), I think it's nice to dress up for a proper date, even if you're just cooking together and dining quietly as a couple. My rule of thumb: if we're eating at the table, comfies can wait; if we're eating in front of the TV, bring on the stretchy pants! 

I typically avoid looks that are too cutesy or precious (because I'm petite and want to avoid pats on the head and cheek pinches), so in the spirit of V-day, this ensemble captures the flirtiness of the occasion while still managing to be simple and appropriate for a domestic date...

Lancome Juicy Tubes // Alice and Olivia tunic // 1928 vintage heart necklace
Feather wrap ring // DSW Crown Vintage wedge // Mademoiselle body oil

No-nonsense pieces, kissable lips and shimmery skin...all good things. Valentine's Day is a romantic day, indeed, and tasteful styling can still be incorporated into an ensemble fit for gazing into each others eyes and holding hands over candlelight. (Such a girl, seriously.) This dress is romantic while providing coverage, and these wedges will do wonders for the legs. There is more than enough going on here to convey feminine beauty without flashing too much skin, especially if you couple this look with a heartfelt love letter (to your man, your bestie, your parents, whoever you chose to love on this year!) and an environment cultivated with care and warmth. Now that's sexy, y'all.

Side note: if y'all haven't already, be sure to check out Anna's weekly installments of True Beauty Files over at In Honor of Design. It's so encouraging to see her adorable looks (as well as those of the many gals who link up with their creations) and reminder that you can be classy and fashionable. 

What will you be wearing this V-day? (Sweat pants and a tee is a perfectly acceptable answer, yo.)

One Year and Counting...

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of M and I embarking on a committed relationship together. I have grown so much over the past year, as a woman and as a child of God, and he has played such a huge role in that process. God has loved on me so much through M, and though our path hasn't always been rainbows and sunshine, I am so thankful for every laugh and every tear.

We enjoyed a delicious lunch at Cheesecake Factory, unabashedly one of my favorite places to grub down. We've been eating pretty healthy and staying active, so I didn't feel at all bad about celebrating our love for food with some decadent noms...

Mushroom lettuce wraps and mojito

Fettuccine with sun-dried tomatoes

White chocolate raspberry truffle cheesecake

Nothing says romance like having your loved one witness you splatter parmesan cream sauce all over your sweater and make ridiculous noises as you indulge in a little slice of whipped-cream-covered heaven. But he seems to love me despite all that. He's a keeper, y'all.

The day was relaxing and lovely, and we capped it off by watching the last half of the Super Bowl with his family at his brother's house. It was a fantastic anniversary and I hope it's the first of many together.

I love you, baby.

The Joy of a Softened Heart

I read an article recently that sort of rocked my world. It wasn't new information that necessarily knocked me over, but rather my receptiveness to reading how a biblical relationship should look that surprised the pants off of me. (Not literally, of course. I'm a la-dy!)

If you look back on some of my older posts about relationships, it should be obvious that a whoooole lot has gone on in my heart. God has been trying to shape this little girl for decades, but I refused to let him in. I refused to let many things in. (As I've shared before, my friends lovingly referred to me as "Alcatraz" because of my complete unwillingness to express emotion or be vulnerable.) 

Lock-down notwithstanding, I still managed to get hurt and have my heart broken by boyfriends, friends and even family. I wasn't protecting anything, but rather closing myself off from the offer of His sovereign love, an acceptance of which would free me to approach my relationships accordingly: not treat them as my subject of worship and therefore set myself up for inevitable disappointment. This is not to say that I no longer believe in or have faith in people. Quite the opposite, actually. I'm more open to love and intimacy than I've ever been before.

(Side note: I'm drafting this in Starbucks while listening to Joy Williams's "Speaking a Dead Language" and my eyes are filled with tears. How's that for growth? I'm showing emotion in public, y'all! More importantly, I'm fine with it. It's a joyful experience, truth be told.)

The difference is that I know my identity and my happiness are safely in the hands of a loving, almighty God. I know that people are broken, sinful and feeble. (And, truth be told, I still sometimes lose my focus and misplace my affections.) In spite of this, we can glorify Him by sharing life together, encouraging each other, loving each other and keeping one another accountable.

The article above considers relationships between men and women seeking marriage (or not, in the case of modern dating). I, for years, excluded God from my relationships. Even if we went to church, it was just that: going through the motions to check that item off the list. Can I be all that surprised that I have yet to marry? (I don't bemoan that I'm of a certain age and haven't yet had the privilege of a family and marriage. The desire is definitely there, but I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I've checked myself before I've wrecked myself.)

Without assuming too much about my current relationship (in terms of what is in store for us), I will say that letting Christ lead your time together while dating (and seeking a guy who is willing to step up and guide the relationship while submitting to God) makes a world of difference. The focus becomes learning if you're a good partner for someone else; not finding the right person for you. As broken people, we can't expect perfection. But we do. I certainly did.

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It's far easier to pursue being the women I know God is calling me to be (which is quite far removed from the identity I created for myself) when I place my trust in Him. Relationship-wise, that requires trust in my fella, which is much less of a challenge when I place that faith in someone who isn't a bonehead. (Ladies, don't date boneheads.) Trust, we struggle: with each other, with ourselves, with what God expects from us. But the best stuff comes from struggles and changes. My heart didn't soften overnight, and it certainly didn't happen while I was being carried around on a cashmere pillow and fed grapes. (But how rad would that be?)

I don't pretend to be on a steady path to blissful happiness. I am stubborn and prideful as can be, so I expect some loving shakes and sacrifices along the way. But I am immensely thankful for God's intervention in my life, for opening my eyes and finding a home in my heart.

Christmas Blessings

Though the time has slipped away from me a bit this year, and I don't feel like I got to do everything I had hoped for this season, I am so incredibly thankful for all the memories I have made in the past months. God has blessed my life with the most wonderful, loving, giving people, and I don't take a second of their time or an ounce of their grace for granted. This includes many of you lovely bloggers! Y'all enrich my days, inspire my daydreams, and encourage me as true friends.

Keeping with this week's Christmas Traditions Series, I will share a few of my favorite Christmas customs:

Decorating the Christmas tree can be a pain in the rear, no doubt. But my mom, brother and I tried our best over the years to make it a special occassion. We put on some holiday tunes, poured ourselves an ice cold Coke, warmed up some queso (we classy, y'all), and engaged in playful banter as we assembled the many limbs of our giant tree and struggled to get the lights perfectly distributed. (Watching 3 slightly OCD folks trying to string lights is a sight, let me tell you.) The shenanigans are part of what makes this event so memorable, and the ornaments themselves embody many fond memories and silly inside jokes. (Bobby Digital snowman is one of my faves. Love you, Brov.) Mom's memorial ornament hangs front and center of all of the family's trees, and her love and laughter are still felt year after year. 

Though the best holiday moments are spent surrounded by family, I also cherish the quiet times, snuggled up on the couch in a big blankie, watching Christmas movies with my mister, and hearing the fire crackle in the background. I relish that moment when I look around and just sigh, knowing how blessed I am to experience such warmth and joy. My home is truly a retreat for me, and seeing it lit up and decorated with lights and bows is like walking in to a big hug every evening.

Christmas 2011

Christmas Eve is one of my favorite evenings of the whole year. Not because of the promise of presents the next morning. (Though, trust, my family never lets us down on the present front. They spoil us rotten, naughty little elves!) It is one of the few, treasured days of the year when the whole family gets together, brings delicious appetizers and snacks to our spread, catches up and exchanges gifts. (We draw names now that our family tree has expanded its limbs. I'm so thankful for this generation of kiddos who have breathed new life into our celebrations. And they have bouncy houses at their birthdays. Holla!) We have really pulled each other close (even closer than before) to fill the gap in our hearts, and I could not ask for a more fantastic group of people to proudly call my family.

I pray that you and your family enjoy the weekend ahead and remember all the blessings given to us all. We are loved by the ultimate Father and fortunate beyond measure, wherever life finds you this year. Hold each other close and bask in the love of the season.

Merry Christmas, my dear readers!

Guest Blogger Series: Stephanie's Christmas Traditions

Today kicks off the first day of my guest blogger series for the holidays. I asked a handful of my favorite bloggers to share with me their favorite Christmas traditions. This time of year, I struggle with keeping the holiday in perspective and trying not to lose sight of the real celebration: the birth of our savior. I love presents and twinkle lights as much as the next gal, but it's the time spent with family and friends, laughing, worshiping and catching up, that warms my heart so. As wisely stated in one of my favorite rom-coms: "Love actually is all around."

I started following Stephanie at Big Mario Life just a few months ago and was charmed from the get-go. Her posts vacillate between fashion, food, her personal life, her travels and her beautiful photography. I am a huge fan of her Awkward & Awesome Thursday series; these posts make me chuckle (and maybe spit out my coffee) every time.

Without further ado, I present to y'all Stephanie's Christmas traditions...

Growing up, my family had lots of little Christmas traditions - tamales for dinner on Christmas Eve followed by midnight mass (the only time of year I was allowed to stay up that late!), candy and oranges in our stockings, my Aunt Bertha's celery with pineapple cream cheese and pecans (I know, but it's so good!). The Boyfriend and his family also have their own set of traditions which I have been lucky to take part in over the last three years. But since he and I have big plans to get married and start a family of our own, we decided it was time to have a tradition that was just for us.

We are now adding one new ornament to our tree every year that represents something important to us about that year. Last year was our first with this tradition so we chose an ornament with our initials. This year, we picked something up in Disneyland when we were there celebrating his grandparents' 65th wedding anniversary. While we still take part in our separate family traditions, it's nice to know that we have something all our own. I can't wait to share these ornaments with our kids someday and retell the stories each one represents.

courtesy of Stephanie

What a wonderful budding tradition, Stephanie! Meaningful ornaments are the best and such a great way to keep your history and love at the core of your Christmas tree. Thank you so much for sharing with us! Merry Christmas to you, your boyfriend and your families!

Friday, I'm in Love, v.10

It's Friday and I'm in love with...

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I was never really the touchy-feely type, but having spent the last year with someone who considers physical touch one of his top Love Languages, I've learned that a simple touch from another human (be it a hug, holding hands, a kiss on the cheek) can make you feel so loved and connected (a rarity in the age of uber autonomy). I'm a full-blown hugger these days. (You've been warned.)

Hello Kitty + Christmas = awesomeness. I have an affinity for all things Hello Kitty, so this adorable ornament is right up my alley. Especially with her sassy pirate ensemble, though it looks more Alice in Wonderland to me (which is even more rad).

Perhaps I'm still sad face over the loss of dear Cowboy, but I am an absolute sucker for puppy eyes these days. M's pup Isabel was working the eyes big time last night, reminding me how innocent and in need of love are these furry kiddos. Their little expressions are priceless.

Today is a very special day in my world. My honey was born on this day (a handful of year ago, of course). I am so thankful that God created such a lovely man from two wonderful parents. Happy birthday, baby.

Happy weekend, y'all!

Friday, I'm in Love, v.9

It's Friday and I'm in love with...

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I have never really been all that big on cinnamon (the flavor or the scent). But ever since curiously witnessing M couple cinnamon and coffee, I have been hooked on this comforting combo. My Taste of Austin blend just isn't the same without it.

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Without getting too personal or heavy on this Friday post, I will simply state that my dad and I are finally, as adults, really forging a proper relationship. I hadn't spoken to him in the last two months, for no particular reason, and I finally dropped my stubborn pride and sought him out yesterday. It was so nice to just pick up where we left off and not have to hash out and whine and pout. I'm so thankful for grace. Whether you're giving or receiving this gift, it's absolutely beautiful.

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The last few days in North Texas have been overcast and cooler, weather that absolutely begs for a nice evening fire. I'm still pretty clueless when it comes to building one (apparently not everything that can burn should be used as kindling...now you know), so M takes care of business while I cuddle up in jammies and stare mesmerized at the flames.

What's keeping you cozy this week, dear readers?

Puppy Love

My dear friends called yesterday to inform me that their sweet pup, Cowboy, had passed away suddenly while playing outside. This dog was something else, let me tell you. He was born on my birthday, so you know he's a special kind of awesome. I spent a good amount of time with him while he was young, staying over to care for him while his folks travelled and snuggling up on the couch when he'd stay still long enough. His personality was one-of-a-kind. And his ears...a true Cow' signature.


Dogs are such wonderful friends and God designed them to so intuitively understand man unlike any other creature. They love unconditionally, despite our moods, frustrations and selfishness at times. Just try to feel down when you see those sweet big eyes and that wagging tail come your way! 


Love on your furry babies, folks. Even when they're being all kinds of naughty and driving you up the wall. You'll probably miss those crazy moments the most when they're gone.

R.I.P. Cowboy
1/11/2011 - 11/27/2011

Follow the Leader

Growing up, nothing could get me riled up more quickly than someone (wisely) advising me to reconsider my fierce independence (-slash-borderline-man-hating). I was raised by a super strong mama and a not-so-involved dad, and gathered from the feminist literature in which I immersed myself that to be intelligent and successful, I needed to embrace being single or at least ensure I was wearing the proverbial pants.

Oh, Natty. ((Pats teenage self on the head.))

I am not, for the record, blaming feminist literature nor my parents for these beliefs. Rather, I wish I had recognized and sought godly women to teach me what it meant to be a stand-up gal and how to look for an equally-stand-up guy. I was going at it blindly and making all the wrong assumptions. But I don't think this is unique to my nuclear family. How many of us find ourselves without a paradigm, without a "good" example of a positive, healthy, loving relationship to emulate (or at least think we are without such an example because of pre-conceived notions of what this should look like)? We're a very unique generation, certain that our parents were wrong, yet ingrained with many of the same attitudes that resulted in whatever dysfunction we know of as "marriage."

Thankfully, my heart and my head have been shaped to understand the marriage relationship in a completely different way than I ever before considered. During an 8-week seminary course (a Titus 2 study) at a phenomenal church I attended while living in Austin, I learned more about what it really means to be a woman--and what that means to my relationships--than I had in 29 years of barging my way through what I assumed was true womanhood. (I come from a nuclear family that positively associates loudness with rightness.)

For the first time, I understood the importance of seeking a godly man, and am now experiencing the absolute joy of partnering with such a fella. Truth, it's not always rainbows and sunshine, and I'm going to be challenged. But I don't expect nor want it to be "Yes, dear" all the live long day. I want to be led and know that I must be trusting and willing to follow in order to facilitate leadership. There's just no way around it. I want to change and grow, and that certainly doesn't always happen gracefully. (I won't even tell you how ugly was the process that got me to this point, but let's just say the levels of hot mess have been epic and sad.)

My journey of growth and understanding are far from over. (Thank you, God!) But I am so thankful to have made enough headway to appreciate the leadership qualities in my honey and to respond accordingly to such love and conviction. I can't wait to see where God leads us next! 

The Allure of the Inner Circle

M and I visited a new church this weekend as we continue our quest to find a church family. The sermon centered on passages from Ephesians, and his analysis of Eph. 1:4-14 stirred me up, particularly when he made the point that we, in Christ, are part of the ultimate inner circle. He contrasted this to the Earthly inner circles we seek and how much stock we often put into belonging (or not belonging).

I felt so convicted by this as I stuggle a lot with trying to fit in and caring about the impression I give off to others. And I'm not talking about hoping others will notice my attitude and love and recognize it for His praise. (Though that is a real hope of mine.) Rather, I concern myself with superficial stuff: what people think about how I dress, what I eat, how well manicured I am, etc. The ironic part is that I tend to most admire (and develop little girl crushes on) gals who have their very own style and swagger. My closest friends are very unique in their personal style and how they live their lives, and I think they're the bee's knees! Yet I have this goofy tendency to adopt whatever I like about someone else's style, exactly as I see it.

I'm reminded of a fitting quote, which Debby over at Inspired Design posted the other day:

"Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else. " ~ Judy Garland

Pastor Ted mentioned gossip as one of the ways we try to access the inner circles we seek. We desire to be "in the know," or we want to bring the goods when it comes to a juicy tidbit about someone else. Why do we do this? I frustrate myself, I tell ya! I am particularly bad about jumping on the bandwagon when it comes to hearing a grievance about/toward another. Rather than weigh my words, offer unbiased support, or even venture to present a gracious, alternative way to look at the situation, I get all up in arms. And about something I know nothing about, save for the one-sided story that has been shared with me! I fiercly love my friends and family, but that doesn't have to mean they are always right and that I should assume such.

I'm always thankful for reminders to check myself before I wreck myself, particularly when they come from a place of love and grace.