On Sexy Halloween Costumes

I know: this is not a new topic. It was covered in Mean Girls, it popped up on Sex and the City...we get it. Halloween is the one night (or weekend) of the year on which females are given a hall pass to dress less-than-fully. Fine.

I have gotten over the whole sexy storybook costumes. They've kind of grown on me and some gals actually look pretty darn cute in them. (I don't think they were going for cute, but if you've got bows on your knee-highs and in your pigtails, I'm calling you "cute.") I can even move past the sexy bugs. Shoot, if I had a body like some of those costume models, I might prance around in lingerie, too. (Ok, that's not true. Because sweatpants.)

Gals like to feel sexy and I get that. I personally would prefer some of these get-ups stay in the boudoir as I do not routinely enjoy seeing others' cleavage and butt cheeks displayed so generously. But maybe that's just a short-coming of mine. I will work on that.

Long-standing annoyance aside, I had to chime in on a few gems I discovered while costume shopping with the boyfriend over the past few days:

Photo: spirithalloween.com

 "Get it? I'm a bag of Skittles!" Oh...kay. Are the Fun Size packs not sufficient for fellas anymore?

Photo: spirithalloween.com

Nemo?! We couldn't spare an animated clown fish from the sexy costume action, huh?

Photo: spirithalloween.com

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS.

Photo: yandy.com

Sexy fruit. Fruit. Honestly, I'm surprised it's just now showing up. Fruit is sexier than bugs, and those are practically an institution in the sexy costume world. 

Please let me apologize in advance for putting my foot in my mouth if you are sporting one of these get-ups for trick-or-treating this year. I bet you'll look great. Just do Mama Natty a favor and carry some mace in your knee-highs, will ya? Bunch of savages out there.

Whatever you decide to dress up as for Halloween (if y'all participate), have fun with it! Be safe and please remember to behave like ladies and gentleman. There is a lot to be said for a fun costume, hanging out with great friends, enjoying Halloween treats and spirits, and making memories to last you until the next wonderful holiday.

(To be fair, I will post a photo of me in my Halloween costume closer to the 31st. I'm super excited about our outfits! I'm a sucker for movie costumes and the chance to do some character makeup.)

What are you going to be for Halloween?